Job Search Tips from a Therapist
Job seeking and interviewing can be a challenging and emotionally taxing experience. From navigating rejection to managing stress and anxiety, it's not uncommon for job seekers to struggle with their emotional well-being during this process. To offer guidance and support, I sat down with licensed marriage and family therapist Chelsea Vinas to discuss strategies for managing stress and emotions during the job search. As the CEO and founder of Therapize - Marriage and Family Therapy Inc., Chelsea has nearly a decade of experience supporting individuals on their mental health journey, and has helped many clients find their confidence while job searching and navigating life transitions. In this article, we'll share Chelsea's insights and advice for maintaining a positive and healthy mindset throughout the job search process.
What is your background and experience in helping people manage stress, emotions, etc?
My name is Chelsea Vinas, and as a licensed marriage and family therapist, I have dedicated nearly a decade of my career to assisting individuals on their mental health journey. I am the Founder and CEO of Therapize - Marriage and Family Therapy Inc., and my focus has been empowering clients to rediscover their confidence, whether navigating job searches, relationships, or significant life transitions.
What are some everyday stressors and emotional challenges people face while searching for a job or interviewing?
One of the biggest obstacles I see individuals face during job searches and interviews is their mindset. Our brain has a massive influence on our perceptions, and our beliefs often shape our reality. For instance, if someone adopts a scarcity mindset, thinking, "There's no job out there for me, and I'll never be employed," Well, guess what? This belief can become a self-fulfilling prophecy. On the other hand, embracing an abundance mindset reveals there may be a multitude of career opportunities out there. It's essential to recognize that plenty of possibilities exist, even though the sheer volume of choices can sometimes feel overwhelming. By opening ourselves up to these new opportunities we had not previously considered, we can better navigate the job search process.
How can job seekers recognize when stress and emotions are becoming detrimental to their job search?
Job seekers can identify when stress and emotions adversely affect their job search by observing the impact on other aspects of their lives. It's important to remember that job-seeking constitutes only a tiny sliver of your life. When it overshadows everything else, disappointment and frustration can take over due to a lack of callbacks or dead ends. The manifestations of this stress can vary from person to person; some may isolate themselves from loved ones, hesitate to apply for jobs for fear of rejection, adopt all-or-nothing thinking patterns (such as feeling like a failure for not finding a job), or even experience physical symptoms as a response to stress.
What are some strategies for managing stress and anxiety before, during, and after job interviews?
Job interviews can be particularly nerve-wracking, as many people feel uneasy with public speaking, especially when their livelihood is at stake. To alleviate stress and anxiety, consider these strategies before, during, and after interviews:
Before: Control what you can control by conducting thorough research on the company and position, remind yourself of your valuable experiences and qualifications, ensure that you are getting adequate sleep, maintain physical hygiene and an exercise regimen, discuss the interview with your career coach or friends and family, and nourish yourself by staying hydrated and focusing on eating nutritious energy-boosting foods.
During: Focus on your breath, take a moment to pause before responding to questions, listen carefully to what is being asked, and draw upon your experiences to craft thoughtful answers that focus on answering the question asked while highlighting traits and characteristics required for the role and the results and impact you have achieved.
After: Celebrate your accomplishment, regardless of the interview's outcome. Showing up and doing your best are victories in themselves. While waiting for a response, you may experience heightened stress and anxiety. Continue engaging in positive activities that bring joy to your life to help manage these feelings.
What are some of the physical and biological responses to stress? Like what is happening in our brain and body?
When we experience stress, our brain releases a hormone called cortisol. In small amounts, cortisol can actually be beneficial, motivating us to study for tests, apply for jobs, or research companies we are interviewing with. However, excessive stress or anxiety can cause our brain to release cortisol at unhelpful levels, making us feel like we are in danger. This sensation can trigger the fight, flight or freeze response:
Fight: In job searching, this might involve applying to as many jobs as possible without considering their quality, focusing solely on quantity.
Flight: This response could manifest as avoidance, such as neglecting certain aspects of the job application process or not responding to potential job opportunities.
Freeze: Also known as "analysis paralysis," this occurs when an individual becomes so overwhelmed by options that they take no action toward finding a job.
It's crucial to remember that, in most cases, job applications and interviews do not present any physical danger. Recognizing this can help manage stress and anxiety during the job search process.
How can job seekers stay positive and maintain a healthy mindset throughout the job search process, especially when facing rejection? Is there a line for "toxic positivity"?
Rejection sucks. It's fair to make that generalization. But it is a fact of life we will all have to face, and our response to it can significantly impact our well-being. In my practice, I often encounter "black and white thinking," where clients perceive rejection as an outright failure. Such thoughts can be harmful, preventing us from recognizing and celebrating our small victories.
To stay positive and maintain a healthy mindset throughout the job search process, it's essential to:
Embrace a growth mindset and view rejection as an opportunity to learn and grow rather than a personal failure. This perspective can help you stay resilient and open to improvement.
Avoid overgeneralization, and remember that one rejection doesn't define your entire job search or career potential. Each application is a separate opportunity, and setbacks are a natural part of the process.
Surround yourself with a support group, and connect with friends, family, or support groups who can provide encouragement, advice, and understanding during your job search journey.
It's important to note that there is a line between maintaining a healthy mindset and indulging in "toxic positivity," which refers to the excessive or unrealistic emphasis on positive thinking. Toxic positivity can undermine genuine emotions and the need for personal growth. Strive for a balanced approach, acknowledging your successes and areas where development is needed while recognizing and processing the feelings that come with the job search process.
Can you provide tips for maintaining a life balance while job searching and how it can help manage stress levels?
Achieving a balanced life while job searching is crucial for managing stress levels. Here are some tips to help you maintain that balance:
Set realistic goals: Recognize what you can accomplish daily and avoid overextending yourself. Start with small tasks, such as editing your resume, and gradually build upon those steps to balance job searching and mental well-being.
Prioritize self-care: Make time for activities you enjoy, as they can significantly reduce stress levels. Maintain a healthy lifestyle by exercising, getting enough sleep, eating well, and staying hydrated.
Establish boundaries: Allocate specific times for job searching and set limits to prevent it from consuming your entire day. Create a schedule that balances job-seeking tasks with personal and leisure activities.
Stay connected: Maintain relationships with friends and family to ensure a support system that can provide encouragement and advice during your job search journey.
Seek help when necessary: Don't hesitate to ask for assistance, whether it's mental health support or job search guidance. Investing in such resources can help alleviate stress and anxiety.
What role does self-awareness play in managing emotions during the job search and interview process, and how can job seekers cultivate it?
I say this about 20 times a week in therapy with my clients, but self-awareness is both a blessing and a curse. We can be so brutally self-aware sometimes we become our own worst enemies. However, self-awareness allows us to recognize our strengths, weaknesses, and areas for improvement, enabling personal growth and progress.
To cultivate self-awareness, job seekers can:
Reflect on their emotions: Regularly assess and acknowledge feelings that arise during the job search process, such as stress, anxiety, or disappointment. Identifying these emotions allows for better understanding and management.
Recognize strengths and weaknesses: Develop a clear understanding of personal skills, qualities, and areas that need improvement. This insight can guide job seekers in tailoring their applications and preparing for interviews.
Practice mindfulness: Engage in mindfulness practices like meditation, journaling, or deep breathing exercises to foster self-awareness and promote a calm, focused mindset.
Seek feedback: Ask your career coach or trusted friends, family members, and mentors for constructive feedback on your job search strategy, resume, and interview skills. This external input can provide valuable insights and help you become more self-aware.
Set realistic expectations: Be honest about what you can achieve and how long the job search process might take. Acknowledging these realities can reduce frustration and help maintain a balanced perspective.
How important is having a support system during the job search, and what kind of support can help manage stress and emotions?
A support system during every life phase is important, especially during huge transitions like job changes. Having an accountability buddy during this process to check in on you, gently push, and encourage you can be great.
There are a lot of ways having support can be helpful. Just a few examples are:
Emotional support: Friends, family, and mentors can provide a safe space to express your feelings, frustrations, and concerns during the job search, helping you cope with stress and maintain a positive mindset.
Accountability: An accountability partner can offer encouragement, check your progress, and gently push you to stay focused and committed to your job search goals.
Advice and guidance: Networking with professionals or joining job search support groups can provide valuable insights, tips, and strategies to improve your applications and interview skills.
Sharing resources: Your support network can help you identify job opportunities, recommend helpful resources, or connect you with other professionals who can offer further assistance.
Celebrating achievements: Acknowledging and celebrating milestones and accomplishments, both big and small, can boost your self-confidence and motivation during the job search process.
Are there any specific relaxation techniques or practices you recommend for job seekers to help them stay calm and focused during interviews?
Absolutely! A few that I recommend are:
Affirmations: Develop positive, empowering statements reinforcing your self-worth, skills, and abilities, and repeating these affirmations before interviews can boost your confidence and reduce anxiety.
Meditation: Practice mindfulness meditation or guided relaxation techniques to help calm your mind, reduce stress, and enhance focus.
Physical activity: Engage in regular exercise or activities like yoga or walking, as they can help release tension, clear your mind, and improve overall well-being.
Hydration: Ensure you are well-hydrated before interviews, as dehydration can negatively impact cognitive function and increase anxiety. Your brain needs to be hydration to work well.
Nutritious food: Choose foods that provide sustained energy. Avoid heavy or overly sugary meals that may crash your energy levels.
Breathing exercises: Practice breathing techniques like box breathing to help lower stress levels and induce a sense of calm before and during interviews.
Visualization: Envision yourself succeeding in the interview, from confidently answering questions to building rapport with the interviewer. This mental rehearsal can help ease anxiety and boost self-assurance.
In your experience, have you seen any common mistakes people make when trying to cope with stress and emotions? If so, how can they avoid these pitfalls?
In my experience, people make several common mistakes when coping with stress and emotions. To avoid them, I recommend:
Address the stress head-on: Instead of avoiding the stressor, acknowledge it and take proactive steps to address the issue. Ignoring or suppressing the stress can exacerbate the problem and negatively impact your mental health.
Maintaining perspective: Avoid falling into the trap of thinking that things will never get better. Remember that most challenges are temporary, and you can overcome them with time, effort, and the right strategies.
Stay connected: During times of stress, it's essential to maintain connections with friends, family, and support networks. Isolating yourself can deprive you of valuable emotional support and increase feelings of loneliness and despair.
Practice self-compassion: Avoid punishing yourself or engaging in negative self-talk due to stressful situations. Treat yourself with kindness and understanding, recognizing that everyone faces challenges and setbacks.
Develop healthy coping mechanisms: Identify and implement strategies that genuinely help reduce stress and improve emotional well-being, such as exercise, meditation, or engaging in hobbies. Avoid unhealthy coping methods like excessive alcohol consumption, overeating, or procrastination.
Set realistic expectations: Understand that managing stress and emotions is a process that requires time, patience, and persistence. Avoid expecting instant results or feeling discouraged if progress seems slow.
What advice would you give someone feeling overwhelmed by their job search and struggling to manage their emotions effectively?
If you're feeling overwhelmed by your job search and struggling to manage your emotions effectively, I would recommend seeking professional help and connecting with mentors in your field for guidance and support. It's important to remember that work is just one aspect of your life, and focusing on other areas like relationships and personal growth brings a balance to things. Break your job search tasks into smaller steps, prioritize self-care, and establish a support network to help you cope. Set realistic goals, practice patience, and stay persistent despite setbacks.
Lastly, are there any additional resources, books, or tools you'd recommend to job seekers looking to improve their emotional well-being during their job search? Also, how can people contact you?
There are many options available. One suggestion is to find a podcast or book that resonates with you and spend a few minutes each day listening or reading. This can provide valuable insights and perspective while also reducing stress levels. Meditation and mindfulness apps can help manage stress and improve overall well-being. It's also worth considering local or LinkedIn groups, which can offer additional networking opportunities and emotional support during this challenging time.
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Please note that the information provided in this article is for generalized educational and informational purposes only and should not be considered as individual medical advice or a substitute for professional mental health care. If you or someone you know is experiencing severe emotional distress, suicidal thoughts, or immediate danger, please seek professional help and contact emergency services. Remember, it's essential to prioritize your mental health and well-being and seek the appropriate level of assistance when needed.